Gettin' By

Ask and ye shall receive.

I am realizing that my lament last week about a lack of things to write about was all the prompting the universe needed to suddenly unleash a stream of events perfect for blog fodder. So there you go: the key to writer's block is to simply complain loudly into the internet ether, and you'll be rewarded with topics galore. At least for this week.

Unfortunately, one of those topics came in the form of a nasty stomach bug that knocked Riely and I out for most of Thursday. I had heard via the elementary school that a virus was going around, and when more than 1/3 of the students and staff came down sick, they ended up closing the school on Friday for a thorough cleaning and Lysol-ing.  Luckily, it was just a 24-hour sickness and we were on the mend by Friday afternoon.  Not so luckily, Mike started showing symptoms on Sunday and he's still down for the count.  Hayden's remained the only non-puking member of the family this weekend, happily playing Minecraft while the rest of us took turns napping on the sofa.

During a window of non-sickness on Saturday night, Mike and I got to attend a benefit for Denver Health and get all gussied up for a night out. My parents, who were traveling home from Kansas, stopped in for the night to wrangle the littles (that's their green truck serving as our glamourous backdrop below!) Coincidentally, that night also happened to be prom at our area high school, so we joined all the high schoolers and their parents on the front lawn for the prequisite photos:

(I was just slightly peeved that Mike failed to get me a ginormous wrist corsage.)

Hayden snapped these photos, after which he turned to my mom and sighed, "They grow up so fast!"  Proving that not only does he have a robust immune system, he's also got quite a way with the one-liners.

I snapped a few more photos on my phone that night, including the classic Pumping Gas in a Tux, when Mike actually got whistled at by a policeman:

 
And the venue itself (a clevery disguised horse arena, that despite fancy lighting and shimmery tableclothes, still smelled faintly of manure):

The lovely flower centerpieces (one of which was swiped by a lady who may or may not have had a few too many cocktails. And NO it was not me - I was just getting over a stomach virus, remember?! Of course, alcohol does kill germs...but now you've got me all off topic.)

There was a rousing concert later in the evening by Earth, Wind & Fire:

The band's appearance was apparently a big-ass deal to everyone in the room who happened to be over the age of 50. And while I can totally appreciate the groove-inducing beat of Shining Star, Mike and I opted to call it an early evening and left before the boogieing got too out of control.

And that was the excitement for the past few days...what's been up in your world?!

 

Give-It-Away Thursday: Scrapbooks, Etc.

My week has been filled with lots of things: doctor's appointments, overseeing various school projects, lots of homework (for the kids), laundry, volleyball, a tuxedo rental (for Mike), trips to the tailor, and a random grocery run when I discovered that dry cat food and tomato soup do not a suitable family meal make. None of which left me much time to draft any witty blog posts. And even if I'd had the time, it's doubtful there would have been anything worth reading being typed over here.  Apparently the part of my brain that used to be capable of stringing together a semi-entertaining tale has high-tailed it out of town with an open-ended airline ticket to Vegas, where's it gambling away my retirement fund and taking in a show or two. (At least that's what I like to imagine has happened. Because just saying I have writer's block is so, you know, mundane.)  

Luckily, not all my creative mojo has gone AWOL. I am currently in the midst of a scrapping fury with the May JBS Mercantile kit, which is an absolutely perfect combination of colors, textures, and brand-spankin' new products that I've been dying to get my hot little hands on. Of course, being that my writing skills are so hampered of late, I don't really have any clever commentary to add to these sneak photos. So will you settle for "Lookie here!  Pretty scrap stuff!" ?!?

At any rate, believe me when I say this kit is GOOD. Even if I did have the mental capacity to string together an effective description, words simply couldn't do it justice. Suffice it to say I'd be marking my calendar for the May 1st sale if I were you. (Don't say I never gave you any good advice!)

And finally, in an effort to make up for my missing writing mojo, I thought I better offer up a little giveaway to those of you still reading. I've got two new issues of Scrapbooks, Etc. (April 2012 and Febrary 2012) to send out to someone.  I promise the contents will be more inspiring than this blog of late. If you'd be interested in them, just leave me a comment below!** I'll draw a name on Monday and send the winner a little happy mail.

And if you happen to see that missing part of my brain at the roulette tables, tell it get home soon (for all our sakes'!)

**Please be sure to leave a contact email in your comment if you are not signed in to Typepad.  Comments will remain open until the morning of April 27 (whenever I drag my butt out of bed, make coffee, and log on to Typepad) and the winner will be randomly drawn from the comments, announced at the bottom of this post, and contacted via email (if possible). Internationals are welcome to enter, but you'll have to pay postage on the shipment. And that concludes the fine print. Yahoo!

UPDATED WITH WINNER:  Congrats to Lori, who was the randomly selected winner of the magazines. Shoot me an email Lori, and I'll mail them out to you asap! :)

Spring Break Hiatus.

It's officially Spring Break in Colorado, which means I am probably hitting the ski slopes (with plenty of apres ski micro brews), planting my bum in the sand on a tropical beach (with plenty of fruity umbrella drinks), or riding down the Grand Canyon on the back of a burro.  And if you read this blog with any regularity, you can put in order the likelihood of each of these events.

In any case, Spring Break in Colorado many involve many things, but not one of those is blogging.  However, should you wish you to entertain yourself in my absence, please feel free to browse these past posts for giggles and grins:

The One Where I Pump You Up

The One About Comic Sans

The One Directed at One Horrible Hummer Driver

The One Where I Talk About Dog Poop

The Overheard Stuff at Our House

The One About Me Being a Total Klutz

The One About the Stick in the Ground

The One Where I Complain About Running. And the Wind. And Dog Poop.

The One (of many) Where I Talk About Boobs.

And those posts should firmly solidify the fact that this blog exists solely on the substantive material of farts, dog poop, and wine. With some boobs thrown in for good measure.

Happy Spring Break!  See you in a week!

 

 

 

currently...

...enjoying the early morning darkness in the company of my coffee mug, computer and cat.

...trying to shake the feeling that I'm running an hour behind.

...reveling in the warm spring temperatures forecasted for the week. Short-sleeves, sidewalk chalk, and sandals on the agenda.

...preparing to pump you up as Design Coach at Ella Publishing's Spring Training. (And psssst...if you register before April 1, you'll save $5!)

...logging some quality mileage on my running shoes as training for spring races kicks into high gear.

...crediting new tunage on my ipod for faster mile paces and a renewed adoration for hitting the pavement.

...catching up on Project Life. And for that matter, life in general. (see item #2).

...designing (& building) a Leprechaun Trap with the girlie.

...dreaming of spring vacation.

...trying not to panic as my To-Do-Before-Spring-Break List seems to lengthen every day.

...contemplating a pedicure. With green polish.

...plotting surprise birthday plans for Mike that will include golf, dinner, an overnight at the Omni, and of course, March Madness. (Go Duke!)

...printing NCAA tourney brackets for the family basketball pool.

...making sure all my Blue Devil garb is clean, ironed, and ready to don for Round 1. (Though I will be cheering for both CU and CSU in the first round as well - way to represent, Colorado!)

...anticipating much smack talk to ensue as our household divides into Those Who Cheer for Duke and Those Who Cheer for Anyone Playing Duke.  Any guesses as to who's on what side?

So what are you up to...currently?

 

Sure Signs of Spring.

It's not the buds on trees or blooming flowers that signal the arrival of spring (at least not for a few more weeks here in Colorado!) But there are a few tell-tale signs that warmer weather is just around around the corner.

First, you should listen for the husband threatening to severely reduce his wife's wine budget unless she gets her side of the closet organized (a task she's only been putting off, for, um, about four years now?) And then you might hear the wind stir and rise as she furiously flings clothing from the rods, and fills a disturbing amount of garbage bags with the discarded attire in a feat Stacy London and Clinton Kelly would applaud:

Yup, the closets has been purged of everything outgrown, outdated and out-of-style (and good gosh, there was plenty of each!) and awaits pick up from the local charity.

Of course, there are a few bags of the good schtuff awaiting a trip to the consignment store. Because apparently (for future reference) mama needs to stash away some cash in an Emergency Wine Fund.

Spring styles have been moved to the front of the closet and if you look closely, you'll see there's actually empty hangers in there. Up until now, they have been an endangered (if not extinct!) species in my closet.

At the risk of affirming I might have a slight a addiction to cardis, my beloved sweaters are now organized by color family and actually have some room to breathe on their shelves. And while hubby might call it an addiction I prefer to say instead that I am simply prepared for chilly Colorado's spring weather.

I've even discovered the elusive "space-between-hangers" concept, which should help reduce future encounters with the dreaded Ironing Board of Doom. Can I get an AMEN?!

So yep, I'm in all-out, full-force spring cleaning mode. And while cleaning doesn't usually induce feelings of happiness and euphoria in this houseworkaphobe, I am feeling pretty dang upbeat about having a closet that looks a lot less like a black hole it used to be. Next up? The scrapbook room. Oh lordy. Look for more on that Thursday.

Also making me happy? My scrappy creations with this month's JBS Mercantile kit. The contents definitely got my creative mojo flowing. One of my favorite pages was this one, using Jenni's new perforated stamp paper (which is now available at Two Peas!)  I misted the stamps with Brown Sugar and Weathervane inks before decorating each one with little bits from the kit:

S U P P L I E S :

And with that, I'm back to the Big Spring Clean. Motivated, of course, by the rather large glass of wine that awaits me at the end of the day, thanks to the now-secured wine budget funds. Cheers!

Got design dliemmas?

Being a freelance graphic designer definitely has its perks. I get to work from home (often in my pajamas). I get to surround myself with paper samples, ink swatches, and font collections (oh my!). And other than the occasional difficult client, I get to work in an industry that indulges my creative passion (and get paid to do it - winning!)

Another benefit of a design background? It helps me be a better scrapbooker. Studying my favorite pages, I can see how balance, proportion, repetition and unity are working on a page. These design concepts are ingrained in my head after years of use, and incorporating them into a layout has become second nature. But I realize that not all people scrap that way. A frequent question I get asked is "How did you know to put that element THERE?" and while the complicated answer relates to design concepts, the simple answer is "It just GOES there!"

All this rambling about design does have a point: I am going to be teaching at some upcoming events this spring (including Ella Publishing's Spring Training!) and wanted to get your feedback on topics you'd be interested to learn more about. So what are your biggest design dilemmas? Do you struggle with incorporating journaling into your layout? Does white space scare you? Are multi-photo layouts your biggest foe? Is there a technique you just can't figure out?

And as some incentive to leave me some feedback, I'll pick a random commenter to win a copy of my Ella book, Design Workshop.

Now's when I do my best Ben Stein impression and stand here repeating "Bueller? Bueller?"

Hope your Tuesday is terrific :)

UPDATED WITH WINNER:  Thanks to everyone for sharing your design dilemmas! I'm hoping to address many of these in my upcoming classes, so stay tuned for more details!  And congrats to Kristine S, who is the winner of my e-book download:

 

Contemplating. And more contemplating.

I've been contemplating changing up my hairstyle for a few weeks now. (OK, honestly? I've been contemplating my hairstyle for YEARS.)  But contemplating - and collecting pictures of cute, short 'dos -  is all it ever amounts to. Once I'm actually in the stylist's chair, I am a big fat chicken around the scissors. So I proffer the usual "just trim it a bit!" and call it good.

I've had the same long, straight hair since I was pregnant with Riely and it was beginning to feel like a rut. It was an easy rut to stay in, due in large part to the convenience of ponytails. And ballcaps. But since there are a limited amount of social engagements where baseball hats are appropriate, I decided it was time to stop all the contemplating and JUST DO SOMETHING ALREADY.

So yesterday, I called my stylist to get an appointment. And knowing that if I was left with any time to contemplate further, I'd change my mind, she told me to come in that afternoon. No more contemplating. Gulp. And here's what resulted:

About six inches shorter (and more in the back, as it angles slightly up toward the nape of my neck) and a few shades darker. Not too drastic, but a significant change for this haircut weenie.

So now I'll have to find something new to contemplate. I'm guessing it should be more worthy and virtuous than hairstyles...like maybe the meaning of life? ...the key to world peace? ...the solution to our nation's deficit?  ...or how many times I can include the word "contemplate" in a single blog post without killing readership?  Yeah, maybe that last one would work.

 

Weekend Recap (On Wednesday!)

Wowsers...it's Wednesday already? I guess a three-day weekend playing hooky on the ski slopes makes the week slide by a bit quicker, huh?

We spent a few days up in the mountains at my parents, hanging with family, where almost-three-year-old Henry may have taught Uncle Mike the finer points of Pac Man on the iPad and the kids may have eaten their body weight in Nana's red velvet cupcakes:

We spent lots of time on the snow, in the company of Masked Rastafarian Maniac and Pink Piglet (otherwise known as our crazy, no-fear, point-your-skis-straight-down-and-don't-stop-til-the-bottom kiddos:

We did get them to pause for a brief second to take a photo with their parents (who spend most  lift rides questioning whether they were too old and creaky to ski two days in a row):

We were finally able to convince them to call it day by bribing them with s'mores while we tossed back some microbrews (and possibly a few Advil!)

There was also a birthday celebration for Uncle Josh (with two ice cream cakes, because can you really party with just one?!) and a quick family photo shot by a nice lady in the lodge who patiently waited while 10 people tried to smile & keep their eyes open at the same time:

Good times, indeed. 

Today I'm playing some catch-up on work, tackling the oh-so-fun task of tax preparation, and hoping for a few minutes alone with my March Jenni Bowlin kit! Hoping your Wednesday is wonderful!

Well, Hello Lovah.

Just in time for Valentine's Day, I'm welcoming a brand new love into my life...in the form of a beautiful iPhone. Yes, I'm aware that I am late to the whole iPhone party, but I'm celebrating like a love-crazed fool anyway, lateness be damned. I've been a fan of all things Macintosh since second grade when I played Snooper Troopers on an Apple IIe and fell in love with the little rainbow logo. So it's been an interminable wait for my wireless contract to expire allowing me to trade in my old Blackberry for a new shiny iPhone without having to pay the $850 fee. Because $850 buys a lot of shoes, people. And a girl's gotta have her priorities.

On the day my contract was up, I marched into the Verizon store and made this little baby mine:

(and the heavens may have opened up and choirs of angels may have sang.)

Now there was nothing wrong with my reliable old Blackberry, mind you. It made calls, relayed my emails, had an impressive battery life, and entertained my kids with BrickBreaker and Word Mole. But its measley 3mp camera took horrible photos. With no flash. And the small display and antiquated keyboard were lacking in the sleek and flashy department. Yes, it was functional, but I wanted more.  And I may have just inadvertently explained why men leave their wives for younger, sexier girls. Hmmm...

At any rate, the new phone and I are getting along smashingly. It's hard to name just one of my favorite features, because I'm enamored with the voice control system to dictate emails, texts and tweets (typing is so 2011!) and the camera quality is stellar (hello Project Life photos!). And I love the "speech bubble" message format with that undeniable Apple design flair:

My first text on the 4S, send from the bathroom at a local restaurant. Oh, quit acting like you don't text while peeing.

I'm also thoroughly enralled with Siri, who I'm enjoying having around for coffee talk in the morning. The conversation is always a bit one-sided, but I'm hoping once she knows me better, she'll come out of her shell:

And while she'll gladly inform me of upcoming appointments, send emails, or answer questions about the meaning of life, my kids prefer to test her knowledge of gastric functions:

It always comes back to the fart jokes, doesn't it?

So today I'm shopping for new covers to keep this baby safe and cozy...and maybe I need to get her some chocolate and wine for Valentine's Day, too.

What's up in your world?

 

 

 

A Post About Housekeeping. Or Wine. Or Something.

I've received a few emails and comments asking me to share more details about the chore charts I mentioned a few weeks back, and while I question you all soliciting housekeeping advice from me, the Unequivocal Queen of Dust Bunnies, I will happily share what (little) I know about domestic duties.

The first thing you should know (and one of the main tenets of my method of housekeeping) is that if you have kids, you can make them do some of your chores. I know - cool huh?!!  As long as you tell everyone that it's "helping teach them responsibility" and "building character" it's totally acceptable. (It is not, however, acceptable to insist they become practiced somelliers and be proficient in the art of selecting, pairing and uncorking wines for your nightly meals. That, apparently, is frowned upon by CPS. Hmph.)

Anyway, around here, the kiddos pitch in.  Each of them has a certain number of chores (which, not so coincidentally, coincides with their ages) that they have to do on a daily and weekly basis. That reminds me...Hayden is 11 now!  He totally owes me a chore!  Hmmmm....

And because I'm a graphic artist and am all about the visual presentation, I've printed up these lovely checklists for them to keep track of their duties:

I can't take credit for the cute design - I downloaded the template from Gennifer's blog and customized the lists for each kiddo. But they're neat! And colorful! And contain cool retro fonts! I layer a tranparency over the list and we use dry-erase markers to check off the chores, so it can be wiped clean and re-used each week.

So yeah. Each kid has their list of chores, as well as a few optional chores that they can do to earn money over-and-above their usual allowance. Yes, I do pay them a weekly allowance (again, equal to their ages) and they use that money to purchase apps for the iPad, songs for their iPods, candy, gum, Slurpees, cigarettes (just making sure you're paying attention!) and other items I refuse to buy. They are also encouraged to save it for bigger purchases and I can avoid the infamous Toy Aisle Arguments at Target by reminding them of this concept. They are also required to donate a portion of their allowance to charity each month. And while I tried to convince them that Mommy's Wine Fund is an excellent cause, they both have opted to support the Humane Society instead.

And even though I've pawned off a few of my household chores on the young 'uns, there's still a whole lot of tasks required to keep our house from becoming featured on Hoarders. To determine these tasks, I did a walk-through on each room of the house and wrote down everything requiring regular attention. I included laundry as well, but only because my previous method of Ignore It And Eventually It Will Go Away has proven to be unsuccessful.

Once I had this Master List of Chores, (which you should totally capitalize and bold, because then it looks all official-like) I decided which ones had to be done weekly and which ones could be done every other week. And some of them (like dusting the formal dining room that we use twice a year) got deleted all together. Don't judge.

Then I made two chore lists.  Each one contains the all the weekly chores. The every-other-week chores got split up evenly between the two weeks, resulting in my final lists:

Once again...a neat, orderly list in pretty, pretty colors. Wheeee! 

Each week I alternate between the aqua and the green list, which each contain 34 tasks.  If I do approximately 6 tasks each day (which usually takes about an hour, give or take), it keeps the house perpetually clean. And I can avoid the freak-out-melt-down-say-lots-of-bad-words when unexpected guests show up and my house hasn't seen a vacuum or toilet brush in, um, 34 days? (I think I already told you - don't judge.)

So there you have it.  How to keep your house clean with six chores a day.  And if you happen to skip a day and get a bit off track, you can always employ my back-up method of housekeeping:  Drink a glass of wine and fuhgeddaboudit.